I lose sight of my deepest intention

তোমার দ্বারে কেন আসি ভুলেই যে যাই
Tomar dwaare keno ashi (audio: Debabrata Biswas)

I lose sight of my deepest intention

Of coming to you

I beg, beseech for trifles

Shrinking in shame
When it ends

Yet all I voice

Are my passing vibes

None of the cravings

Buried within

Meaningless wants

Fetter my raw bud, my dream,

Needs that will crumble one day,

Wither, give way,
As spring brushes in

One day,
A lone desire will emerge

A desire, streaming through life
To meet it's culmination,

Cracking open to the sun

Like a radiant bloom

I wait near the pathway

তোমায় চেয়ে আছি বসে পথের ধারে সুন্দর হে
Tomay cheye achhi (audio: Debabrata Biswas)

I wait near the pathway

I look for your beauty

to wake my heart

and shake my dusty strings.

I have no flower 
Only tears that sing.
I hope you see my pain 
as far as you may be
dear Beauty.

Days pass on end
my heart is not quenched.

I am askance in the empty quay
I wish I could see
colors when you come.
I wish I could sail 
in an ocean of energy.

(another version by Rumela)

I sit by the wayside
And gaze at you, O Beauteous One
Dust gathers on the strings
Of the Veena in my heart
O Beauteous One

I have no blossoms to wreathe a garland
I play a tearladen song on my Veena
For you to hear from afar in the dark
O Beauteous One

Day after day goes by
O Beauteous One
What is this thirst
That afflicts my heart
O Beauteous One

Alone on this lonesome pier
I know not what to do
When will it arrive
The raft with colourful sails
When will I set sail
In the ocean of bliss
O Beauteous One

Another version for rendition in English by Anandamayee Majumdar

When would you arrive?
I am yearning for you
On the roadside
Beauty of mine!

My heart and my mind
and golden guitar
are gathering dust
Beauty of mine!

My garden is empty
How can I offer
flowers, would you have my
tears to share?

Listen as I play on
In the teary dark
From afar
Beauty of mine

Day after day
Night after night
Time flies on
Beauty of mine

A suffering heart
Cries out in thirst,
aching thirst,
Beauty of mine

How could I set sail;
The dock is empty?
When would the ship
come and deliver me?

When would I float away
To the blue sea
Of paradise
Beauty of mine?

2019 02 09

All has come to end like a fading dream

সকলি ফুরাল, স্বপনপ্রায়
sakali phuralo swapanpraay

All has come to end
Like a fading dream
Where is she hiding?
Where is she, o where?

The woods wear a desolate look
Why do the birds sing no more?
An emptiness wherever I look
Where is she, o where?

For whom will the buds bloom?
Madhavi & Malati weep in woe
She who came to fill her pail
She who came to pluck some fruit
O she will come no more
Where is she, o where?

The muse calls in love

ডেকেছেন প্রিয়তম, কে রহিবে ঘরে
Dekechhen priyotomo, ke rohibe ghore (audio)

The muse calls in love
It is time to show up,
To release from quiescence.
I come to herald everyone
In hustling celebration

Seething souls will find respite
From ache, alienation

The sky will pour it's symphony
The earth will be wrapped
In magnificence.

Creation transforms
To a gorgeous stage for the tryst

My heart is now prepared
To meet the loving face
Reflected within

The lamps of all my sorrow

আমার সকল দুখের প্রদীপ
Amar shokol dukher prodip
(audio)

Lighting the lamps of all my sorrow
I will offer when the day goes by
My sorrow filled worship is not over yet

When the shadows grow longer
When the birds fly back to their nests
When the prayer bells ring out at dusk
Then will this life leap up in a last flame
My sorrow filled worship is not over yet

Many words, many pleas from many a day
Much unrest, much agitation
Tangled up in pain-struck strings
Flit up and fill up my heart today

When they light up one by one
In the holy fire of worship
When they leap and race to the sky
Breaking free from their bondage
When they fade into the setting sun
My sorrow filled worship will over be then

The give and take

দেওয়া নেওয়া ফিরিয়ে-দেওয়া
Dewa newa phiriye dewa
(audio)

The give and take
The giving it all back
This game between you and me
Goes on through the ages
Can death put an end to it?

When I awake to your song
When I look for you in the skies
You cascade down to earth
In the song on my Ektara*

The glittering gold of your light
I repay the debt with flowers
That bloom on my dark soil

When my arbour of Shefali blossoms
Is drunk with fragrance on an autumn night
It tugs then at your skies
To shower down later a tune
In the loving drizzle of a monsoon night.

Ektara* - a one stringed lute

Release the dark door, mother

তিমিরদুয়ার খোলো-- এসো, এসো নীরবচরণে
Timiro duwaro kholo (audio: Debabrata Biswas duet)

Release the dark door, mother
arrive in silence.
Stand in the golden sunshine.
Wash away my dullness
with your pleasing presence, so pure.
Flood the sky with music,
that can joyfully awake the world.
Restore my breath with your sweetness.
Stand so I may gaze at you, bathed in light.

The day my heart cracks open

সে দিনে আপদ আমার যাবে কেটে
Shey dine apod amar jabe kete (audio: Suchitra Mitra)

The day my heart
cracks open in joy
I'll be free.

So when your scent
and honey pour
out of me
no one can pretend
it's me.

Night and day
the giant world
watches me.
I think I know
what that means.

They seem to see
my heart is made
of magic cells
infinite joy.

If and when
it's all squeezed out
that's the death
of little me.
That's when
my heart will heal.

Autumn radiance blossoms

শরত-আলোর কমলবনে
Shoroto alor kamolo bone (audio)

Autumn radiance
Blossoms like a precious lotus-pond,
Indulging my muse
Out of my heart

Sunshine, twinkling, aureate,
Echos the clink of her armlets,
Jittery shadows
Are possessed by her veil
Heaving in the wind

Her fragrance, meditative,
Hovers below the Shiuli

Contained within
She is captivating
Expressed outside
She is exquisite

Today, more than ever,
Her purest gaze
Reflects in the royal blue sky

Brown, indigenous child

 ওগো সাঁওতালি ছেলে

Ogo shaontali chhele (audio)

Brown, indigenous child,

As enchanting as the

Juvenile, opaque, emerald season
I discover you,
Unfolding your heart
Through rustic tunes, an earthly flute,

Hovering beyond plush meadows,
Opulent groves

Like a rain-messenger

Monsoon clouds,
Misted with cobalt blue
Elbow in from the east
Deepening your dark skin.

The sun's gorgeousness reflects

On your sparse, buff wear.

You fascinate me
With your silent treasure
-- a bud of monsoon,
Left at my doorstep
In quiet affinity

My monsoon melodies

Hover in the sky

Like a flight of swans,

Voicing your tunes

Our hearts meet

Through the tempest

In the tossing Tomaal,

Walking down with the beat

Immersed in cloudy shadows.

Deluging, endless rains

উতল-ধারা বাদল ঝরে
Utol dhara badol jhore (audio)

Deluging, endless rains
A lonely detained day

The wind, full of dampness
The river, rejuvenating, wild
Clouds, soft, enhancing
Shadows misting the wilderness.

And then in sudden epiphany
You arrive, my friend,
Bewildering my monsoon twilight
Making me anxious
To wipe your wetness
To let my tresses dry your feet

Let the night deepen
Let the darkness grow opaque
As I light my beacon of love
As I splay my heart to hold you

(another version by Rumela)

The clouds drizzle in restless flow
All day long alone in my room
A rain-soaked breeze blows strongly
The maddened river surges and swells
Dark clouds envelop the skies
Darkening the Tamal woods
O my beloved, you came at last
In what a state at the end of day
I will dry the damp with my veil
I will wipe your feet with my tresses
The dark night will deepen
I will light the lamp of love
I will lay down my heart
For you to rest your feet on
Forgetting life and death
I will welcome you in
I will overcome my coyness
And stand beside you today
Bonds and barriers will burn away
I will subdue joy and sorrow
Together with you on this stormy night
I will step outside without a fear
The clouds drizzle in restless flow
You opened the door and came inside
My eyes blinded by the flash
My heart awakened in thrill
I wish to look at your face
I lift my gaze and quiver in fright

You offered me your first yield

বাদল-দিনের প্রথম কদম ফুল করেছ দান
Badolo dinero prothomo kodomo phul (audio: Arghya Sen)

You offered me your first yield,
The fragrant Kadamba of monsoon
For my part,  I bring you
My rainy tunes.

I have shielded them
With cool shadows, dim skies,
Treasuring
My first lyrical fruition

I know today offers you abounding harvest
But tomorrow will leave you bare

And so each monsoon,
My songs will come to life,
My boat will be heaped with your honour
My melodies, echo your glory
Riding on tides
Of your lost remembrance

The night hums with endless rain

আজি বরিষনমুখরিত শ্রাবণরাতি
Aji borishono-mukhorito Sraabono raati (audio: Srikanta Acharya)

The night hums with endless rain,
I attach my aching memories
In one evocative garland,
Through the lonesome dark

I delude myself
Into keeping the door ajar,
Into imagining a friend arrive
To share my somber night

A heart who will mold music
From monsoon showers,
A soul that can enamor
Savory Kadamba buds

The muse who will perhaps,
Never show up --
For whom I embed
My yearnings on the soil
With patient contemplation

Pressing hours of high monsoon

যায় দিন শ্রাবণদিন যায়
Jaay din Sraabon din jaay (audio)

Pressing hours of high monsoon
Cloud my heart,
Whisper the emptiness
Of my bizarre longing,
Piqued by an enchanting dusk

A solitary night is imminent.
My lamp flickers,
With promise, questions,
The void vibrates with ambivalence.
There are no answers,
Only a wild wind
Embarks homeless on the pathway

The opaque dark has stifled my dreams.
But the night, wounded with heartbreak,
Hunts for expression, eloquence
Through the rustling music of rain,
The sodden fragrance of Malati.

The monsoon night culminates

আজি বর্ষারাতের শেষে
Aji borsha raater sheshe (audio: Debabrata Biswas)

The monsoon night
Culminates in a sparkling dawn
Sodden clouds
Dissolve their smoky kohl
With softened sun-streaks,
Iridescence crown the bamboo,
Colors trickle, ubiquitously.

The grass glistens, rustles,
Reverberating my vibes,
My vibrations.

I sense the soil's love,
The symphony of light.
I feel my blood rush with delight
My heart harmonize,
Laugh out, with the wilderness.

I splay my heart in the monsoon sky

নিবিড় মেঘের ছায়ায় মন দিয়েছি মেলে
Nibiro meghero chhayay mono diyechhi mele (audio)

I splay my heart in the monsoon sky
Beneath a clouded, opaque dimness.
I wonder if you sense my message
In your dreams,
Across a thousand seas

Waves lap with longing
Transporting the blues
From south, faraway rivers

A memory,
Merging the music of darkness,
Hovers along the path
Of irretrievable stars

My wakeful, aching eyes
Keep peering through a fruitless void,
An eternal emptiness

Beyond boundless monsoon

শ্রাবণবরিষন পার হয়ে কী বাণী আসে ওই রয়ে রয়ে
Sraabon borishon paar hoye kee banee (audio: Mita Huq)

Beyond boundless monsoon,
Undying rains,
A mysterious missive heaves in,
Misted with the secret spice of Ketaki,
Exuding the heartiness of Bokul,
Breathing an ancient lover's
Deathless tears of longing

A missive, that delves into the poet's heart
Amassing music to match it's hurt

A message whispered to a love
Lost in endless separation
Conveyed, softly, stealthily,
Through rain-melodies of Malhar
Like a momentous cloud messenger.

In my quest of a song

আমি কী গান গাব যে ভেবে না পাই
Ami ki gaan gaabo je bhebe na paai (audio: Sagar Sen)

In my quest of a song
I delve into the sullen sky,
The monsoon breeze
Replete with longing.

There is a passionate eloquence,
A dancing gig, strange, mysterious,
Among the trees blowing in the wind,
Which I yearn to learn, 
Spend hours to assimilate

My body responds to a
Wave of unearthly melodies, 
Deluging me
In streams of splendor

A secret thrives in the chasm
Of my shadowed consciousness,
In the twilight haze of my dreams,
Which I pine to possess
Very deeply.

Submerged in high monsoon

আজি শ্রাবণঘনগহন মোহে
Aji sraabonghonogohon mohe (audio: Debabrata Biswas)

Submerged in high monsoon,
in an opaque darkness
you arrived, as clandestine,
as secretive and soundless
as the sleeping night.

The dawn has shut her eyes
the wind calls out in vain
the brazen blue of the sky
has been dimmed.

Birds in the wilderness are speechless,
gates have been latched,
roads are unoccupied
but for you, lone traveler.

I keep my door ajar for you,
my friend, my love,
do not hover away from me
like a lost dream,
do not deal me with apathy.

Awash with monsoon vibes

এই শ্রাবণ-বেলা বাদল-ঝরা যূথীবনের গন্ধে ভরা
Ei sraabono bela baadolo jhora (audio: Subinoy Roy)

Awash with monsoon vibes,
Eternal rains,
The prolific fragrance of jasmine
A mystic image from antiquity sets in,
A lover yearning for her tryst
In the shadowed downpour

And I, deluged with longing
Hold my gaze to a solitary hearth,
Expecting a secret muse
At my doorstep
In the dark, in the drizzling twilight,
Singing a heart-sifting melody

(another version by Rumela)

This rain-soaked monsoon day
Filled with the fragrance of juthi flowers
She roves the dense woods, nook to nook
Wearing a veil of shadows
I seem to know her from a time forgotten
She who pines, estranged from her beloved

Why do I stare at the desolate road
What if she comes all of a sudden to my door
In the darkness of the clouded evening
She sings a song so heart-overwhelming

Emancipation is your only way

এই কথাটা ধরে রাখিস মুক্তি তোরে পেতেই হবে

Ei kothata dhore rakhish (audio)

You better not forget this
freedom is what you need.
The road that leads to light
is your road and odyssey.

Sing out loud
sing a song of daring.
You'll have to toss and turn
in the wind joyfully.

If you're moving round and round
you just need to stop it all.
When you walk, the road is rough
your feet will suffer injury.

Say goodbye to comfort,
never die with a timid heart.
If you want to have a life,
you must take the deathly hit.

If you will not save then why slay me

না বাঁচাবে আমায় যদি মারবে কেন তবে?
Na banchabe amay jodi marbe keno tobe (audio: Suchitra Mitra)

If you will not save
then why slay me?
Is there a meaning
to this grand agony?

I see the fire
in your arrow।
The earth trembles
at your feet.
As you make life
so do you hit.

I can feel how
you furrow my heart
to seek my gold.
But what makes you
think I own it?

I have a chest full of pain,
jewels for your crown.
Perhaps, my sorrow
will wake my heart
with dormant majesty.

Stand by me, my friend

বন্ধু, রহো রহো সাথে

Bondhu roho shathe (audio: Kanika Bandyopadhyay)

Stand by me, my friend,

Endure, this sunless morning of monsoon

I wonder if it was you in my dreams

When the night for me, was starkly solitary

As the day precipitates to nothingness,  

As the wind billows with tearful anguish,

Whisper soulful words to my heart

Slip your hands through my own

Who do I call out to

আমি কারে ডাকি গো
Aami kaare daaki go

Who do I call out to
Do untie me from my bonds

I stretch out my hands
Do seize me and take my all

Do summon me with such a call
That my fear and shame fall away
That I leave it all
That I push it all aside
And rush and run headlong

I am ensnared in dreams
I am ensconced in stupor
She lies curled up within
With her eyes closed

One day after another
Where do they all fade?
In a wordless flow of tears
Cries out my heart

O my friend who feels my ache

সকল জনম ভ'রে ও মোর দরদিয়া
Shokol jonom bhore o mor dorodiya

O my friend who feels my ache
I weep and make you weep all my life long
O my friend who feels my ache

You reside in my heart
Where rings out many a pain
Does it befit you?
O my friend who feels my ache

Darkness never leaves
This room with its doors shut close
Yet you remain therein
O my friend who feels my ache

There I have not laid a seat
There wreathed flowers I have not
My head hangs down in shame
O my friend who feels my ache

My sentimental pride

আমার অভিমানের বদলে আজ
Amar obhimaner bodole

I will take your garland today
In place of my sentimental pride
Today by the end of night
Let me end my tearful daze

I cast off my hardened heart by the wayside
May your feet grace it with a soft touch
And melt that stone

I was engulfed in darkness
You took off its shroud
Your love came like a fire
And illumined it in brightness

The self of mine that to me was so dear
I will empty it all and offer it to you

I won’t pray to you for peace

তোমার কাছে শান্তি চাব না
Tomar kaachhe shanti chabona

I won’t pray to you for peace
Let them stay, my worry and pain

On this, my swing of disquiet
Alight in all your glorious play
I wish to rock you to and fro

Let the wind put out the lamp
Let the storm unfurl its flag
In that darkness I will seek
The touch of your feet
Against my heart

Do you have still more arrows in your quiver?

ও নিঠুর, আরো কি বাণ তোমার তূণে আছে
O nithur, aaro ki baan tomar trine aachhe

O ruthless One
Do you have still more arrows in your quiver?
To pierce me where it hurts, in my bosom

I run and flee, I shut my eyes, I veil my face
Lest I get hurt somewhere someplace
Because I fear your lashing so
My heart is thus ablaze in pain

The day it is I lose my fear
Exhaust will all your arrows
Breathe will life having welcomed death

How can you overcome pain

দুঃখ যদি না পাবে তো
Dukkho jodi na paabe to

How can you overcome pain if you avoid it
Isn’t the antidote to venom, venom itself

Let ablaze be the fire
Be not the slightest afraid
When it is reduced to cinder
It can never be kindled again

Do not flee skirting around it
Do not shy away from being taken captive

The farther you run
The more pain you get

Finish off death itself
With your dying breath
Then will life come
And take its own place

When I hurt you

যখন তোমায় আঘাত করি
Jokhon tomay aghat kori

When I hurt you, then it is I get to know you
When I oppose you, then it is you win me over

The more I plunder your wealth for myself
The more I find myself in your debt

When I push upstream in pride and joy
I feel the force of your flow on my bosom

When I let the light in my room flicker off
In inert indolence
Your night sky lights up a thousand stars