Mar 31, 2012

The bright red blossom of sunset

দিনশেষের রাঙা মুকুল
Dinoshesher ranga mukul / Din shesher ranga mukul (audio)  

The bright red blossom of sunset
Blazes in my heart.
I wait for it to transform
Into blooming love,
Like a nodding bud in the drift of dark,
Like a bud that greets you on your way
Fragrantly, as you take your steps to my heart
When love blossoms at last.

Do not let the night go in vain
Dearest one, arrive within,
Penetrate my deepest melody.

Seep into the fullest moments of our meet.
Permeate the garden of tuberose
Like a dream of my night.
Arrive at last, when love blossoms.

Mar 26, 2012

You had a storehouse of songs

তোমার বীণায় গান ছিল
Tomar beenay gaan chhilo (audio by K L Saigal)

You had a storehouse of songs
In your harp-strings
And I, the buds
The same southern breeze
Made us shimmer together

The sky surged with something
Intensely magical
That no one will ever know
As you anchored
Near my blossoming garden
With your host of melodies

I trusted my heart would never stop
Blossoming to your music,
Yet the notes were swept away
And the buds died in the dark

Had something been missing in our play
In the tender green dreams of spring?

Do not be angry for no reason

বঁধু, মিছে রাগ কোরো না
bnodhu michhe raag korona

My dear friend,
Do not be angry for no reason
Do understand my feelings
Do remember me in your own heart
Do shower your compassion

Lest I cannot contain myself
I stay to myself
My face wears a smile
My heart gazes in tears
But I do not seek to deceive

A day’s tryst
A moment’s joy
A smile that lasts but for a second
In a blink of an eye, my heart is filled with the agony of a lifetime

And yet I entreat and implore
Weep in the unknowing dark
I come from afar only to return
With unfulfilled desire

Is it true, is it all true, my ever devoted friend

এ কি সত্য সকলই সত্য
eki sotyo, shokoli sotyo

Is it true, is it all true, my ever devoted friend!

The lightning glow of my eye
Evokes the darkness of the north-east monsoon
Is it true?

My honeyed lips are tinged with crimson
The flush of a newly-wed bride’s love
My ever devoted friend, is it true?

Untold beauty blossoms in me
My every step rings out with sweet melody
Is it true?

Night, when it cannot sight me
Sheds teardrops which glisten as morning dew
Dawn’s refulgent thrill is for me
Is it true?

The inflamed touch of my warm cheeks
Intoxicates the restless breeze
My ever devoted friend, is it true?

Mar 25, 2012

Day after day goes by in this darkened room

দিনের পরে দিন-যে গেল আঁধার ঘরে
diner pore din je gelo

Day after day goes by in this darkened room
My heart is wistful, gazing at your seat

My dearest, the salver is filled with flowers
I will wreathe them with my woe to place at your feet

The stars stay awake counting your footsteps
The breeze from your raiment caresses the flowers

The melody that waits in hope of you
Cries out in the heart of springtime
Words of the heart find not a voice
They stream down in tears

I know you won’t return

ফিরবে না তা জানি
phirbe na ta jani

I know you won’t return, I know
Yet let the lamp glow in hope of your return

I know in my heart you won’t wreathe a garland
Yet let my Bokul blossoms bloom in my garden
Ushering the thirst for your touch in my heart

I know not where you are in your straying from the path?
Yet let my door remain ajar

My night is bereft of song
Yet let your Veena tune to melody
Let my words hanker after that tune

In the dusty dusk of my ashen life (2)

ধূসর জীবনের গোধূলিতে ক্লান্ত মলিন যেই স্মৃতি
dhushor jiboner godhulite klanto molin jei smriti

In the dusty dusk of my ashen life
Memory that is dark and worn out
My song brings colour to that faded picture

The colour that lurks in the pollen of spring bloom
The colour that touches the chirping of the morning bird
The colour that pours into the shades of Piyal
The luminance of the seventh day of the bright fortnight

That image sways to the pulse in my veins
That image mingles with the rushing ripples of capricious cascades
She floats on the southern breeze
She smiles with the full moon
She is my very own companion of dreams

In the dusty dusk of my ashen life (1)

ধূসর জীবনের গোধূলিতে ক্লান্ত আলোয় ম্লানস্মৃতি
dhushor jiboner godhulite klanto aloy

In the dusty dusk of my ashen life
A faded memory in the worn out light
The silhouette of that song is the friend I seek
The companion of my dreams
She enraptures me in the thick of woods alive with spring

I see her lovelorn form in the strains of Behag
In her downcast eyes filled with pathos

On a full moon night amidst the chirping of cuckoos
That melody mingles with the song of my flute

Mar 24, 2012

Don’t wake her

ওরে জাগায়ো না
ore jagayo na

Don’t wake her
She seeks respite at the feet of unsparing fate
She wants to forsake all her wants
Pouring them into a plumbless depth

Let her put down the unbearable burden of anxieties
Let her forget the deprivations of an insignificant life

Let a deep sleep descend
Let its ebon brush black out
Taunts of the past from her memory

Let the echoes of pain subside into stillness
Like the nest of a quiescent bird
Let a dark night descend
A gift of peace to the dumbstruck darkness of weary woe

Mar 23, 2012

Spring parts with a smile

বসন্ত সে যায় যে হেসে
Boshonto she jay je heshe

Spring parts with a smile
Leaving a few buds in her wake
You will leave, just as well,
Your laughter will have left
Not before you offer a scarlet bud
From your tresses, as my keepsake

I will live with my memories
Alone on the shores of the river
A river that melted my mortal love
Like a clay idol I once worshipped
In my heart I will reflect on your face
Your tearless face

The sun sets as you leave
Which is well -- let the dark descend
Let light stay concealed by shadows
After the partnership is over

An absent breeze in its wake

এই উদাসী হাওয়ার পথে পথে  
Ei udashi hawar pothe pothe (audio: Srikanta Acharya)

An absent breeze in its wake
Sends green buds shimmering to the earth
I have gathered them with love
As I lay them down at your feet
Won't you graciously accept?

When I am gone let them bloom
As you weld them together
I hope your fingers remember me
With sweet, tearful memories

The pitiful cuckoo, awake tonight
Hums her fruitless longing
Into the enthralled darkness
The memory of a couple's whispers
The magical trance of togetherness
Waft away with the moonbeams
Towards the full moon of Dol

These images will find their way
Into the wreathe you weld today
So that you can revoke them
Sometime later in your daydreams
On a slow, sleepy afternoon

Love that is birthed by the scorching fire of pain

দুঃখের যজ্ঞ-অনল-জ্বলনে জন্মে যে প্রেম
dukkher joggo-awnol-jawlone

Love that is birthed by the scorching fire of pain
Radiant is its gold
Forever free of doubts
Everlasting is its honour

Beyond the world of anxiety
It lives in a place made holy by the pain of separation
Where burns a fire stoked by eternal disappointment
Liberated from cravings, it remains untarnished forever
Everlasting is its honour

Bathed in tears, radiant is its penance
It achieves immortality in its sacrifice
Everlasting is its honour

The one who flit across my dreams

যে ছিল আমার স্বপনচারিণী
je chhilo amar swoponcharini
(audio)

I could not fathom the one
who flit across my dreams
Days went by in search of her

You beckoned me at an auspicious moment
You draped me and covered my shame
I fathomed you with ease

Who will slight and turn me away?
Who will call out and draw me close?
In whose love will I be valued?
I can grapple no longer with these doubts
Only you I have fathomed, only you

No, no, do not make a mistake

না না, ভুল কোরো না গো
na na bhul korona go

No, no, do not make a mistake
Oh do not make a mistake
Do not make a mistake in love

Do not beguile me
Oh do not beguile me
Do not beguile me with fruitless hopes

I live with the pain of separation
I am conversant with its language
It does not trick me

Feigning mercy, do not be merciless
In offering your heart, do not break my heart

Do not keep me in temptation
Weaving a deathly spell of melody
Do not lure me to utter destruction

I have lost my entire universe

আমার নিখিল ভুবন হারালেম
amar nikhil bhubon haralem

I have lost my entire universe
Melody plays no more
On the Veena of my world

My homeless heart heads down an unlit path
I descend into the depths of darkness

The evening star in your eyes
Let it shine upon my path

I have wasted many a parched hour
Chasing mirages in vain

At day end, this weary wayfarer
Pushes forth on a pilgrimage to your heart

Mar 22, 2012

I live from hope to hope

আমি আশায় আশায় থাকি
ami ashay ashay thaki

I live from hope to hope
My eyes athirst and anxious

Sleep and wakefulness interlace
In my dreamy euphoria
Who do I call gazing at the distant horizon?

The woods are alive
With the whisper of tearful words
What is it the bird sings?

I know not what to say
A colourful mist envelops my life

When near she was

কাছে যবে ছিল
kaachhe jobe chhilo

When near she was, I failed to go to her
When she left, I realised her absence

When the oarsman waited at the quay
I did not spare him a glance
Now I hear the splash of his oars from afar

The playhouse in which I did not play
There I sit forlorn night and day

The words from days gone by
Build a nest in my dreams
Today I merely look back with eyes awash

Mar 21, 2012

You seem to be drained of all life-force

তোর প্রাণের রস তো শুকিয়ে গেল ওরে
tor praaner rosh

You seem to be drained of all life-force
Fill then your goblet with the essence of death

Extracted from the fire of the funeral pyre
It is the balm for all scorching pain
It colours every void with a raucous laughter

Your sun hides behind dense clouds
Your day is spent in meaningless tasks

Then let it come, the dark night
The ultimate friend to the craze of obliteration
Let it cloud your weary eyes with a fog
That befuddles your sense of direction

No, no, I won’t fear the pain of parting

না রে, না রে, ভয় করব না
na re, na re, bhoy korbona

No, no, I won’t fear the pain of parting
I will fill it with my own sweet solace

My tears will keep it fresh
My thoughts will string it into a rosary
I’ll wear it as a necklace

You will step from my sight into my heart
Your words will mingle with my song
Through the days of agonising ache
I’ll strive to know you in the glow of my pain

She comes in dishevelled state

আকুল কেশে আসে
aakul keshe aashe

She comes in dishevelled state
She gazes in dejection
Who is she, ever pining for her beloved?
At dawn when my eyes are heavy with sleep
In my lonely abode, with the fragrance of flowers wafting in the wind
She drifts into my morning dream as I lay ensconced in my bed

I wake up with a start
Her shadowy form fades away in a flash
All she leaves behind is a fervent yearning in the garden

Cast away your agony

না , না গো না
Na na go na koro na bhabona (audio: Shyamal Mitra)

Cast away your agony--
Let the night recede
I will not leave, my love

I withdraw, only to return
My trail cuts across mysteries
Of sunshine and shade
My heart swings
Between togetherness and rifts

With every rhythmic churn,
I am breath-taken by your endlessness

When you are concealed
Even for a flash
I am torn, tormented
As though you had been lost forever

Fly along little bird

ছিন্ন শিকল পায়ে নিয়ে
Chhinno shikol paaye niye (Audio: Ritu Guha)

Fly along little bird,
Even as the remnants of a chain
Dangle at your feet.
Let it chink,
That slight fetter.
Your wings will be free
As the wayward clouds call out to you

This sacred hurt you sense, is freedom
The liberated love of a pure space in the sky
Don't  mock yourself any more, let go

You were in a cage for so long
Your fantastic hopes lived there,
As well as died
Leave them all beneath on the dust forever

Mar 19, 2012

Do not leave now itself

তুমি যেয়ো না এখনি
tumi jeyo na akhoni

Do not leave now itself
Lingers still the night
Lonely is the road
Dense is the darkness
The forest filled with nettles
The earth covered in shadows

With much hope in my heart
I light a lamp and wreathe a garland
I have not sighted you, my friend, in all my days

Today I’ll set off for the shoreless unknown
I’ll set afloat the raft of my life
On the surging ocean of love

My friend, why did he come to my door

সখী, আমারি দুয়ারে কেন আসিল
shokhi, amari duare keno

My friend, why did he come to my door?
The ascetic with his alms bowl at dawn
Why did the Veena resonate with such pathos?

I notice him each time I go past
Should I summon or turn him away, I wonder

The dark horizon of monsoon
The clear sky of autumn
The southern breeze of spring
The flowering foliage of forests
He sings of them ever so often
In many a song with a myriad feelings
I get distracted from my work
My eyes awash in tears

Why did the little bird leave

বনে যদি ফুটল কুসুম   
Bone jodi phutlo kushum (audio: Kanika Bandyopadhyay)

Why did the little bird leave
Even as the arbors flower in ecstasy?
Did she find herself a shelter
In the faraway, invisible sky?

When the breeze thrills to effulgence
Boughs billow and dance,
When melodies melt with sweetness,
Why is she the only cast-alone?

What exotic urge drew her far
To seek out lush, unseen shores
With such enthralling sadness?

While spring calls out to her, nearby,
This stunning night transforms 
Into a night of ache and longing.
Why does she, then, elude herself?

Days pass, one after the other

দিন পরে যায় দিন 
Din pore jay din (Audio by Debabrata Biswas)

Days pass, one after the other.
As I pause by the way,
My songs, one after the other
Go drifting by in the breeze.

The hours stretch on,
And so does this playful fascination
Of welding tunes together.
A mirage of a melody
Appears distantly 
Somewhere in my dreams.

Days pass, one after the other,
Yet you do not appear to me.
I hum my songs, one after the other
In my solitary pause.

Perhaps you willfully keep away
So that my tunes can flow,
For love brings pain
To the one that is loved.

Mar 18, 2012

The path of decided rift

তুমি কোন্‌ ভাঙনের পথে এলে
Tumi kon bhangoner pothe ele (audio by Srikanta Acharya)

What was that strange path
That led you to me,
The path of a decided rift,
In the nestling night?
All that ruptured and bled within
Are grateful to you
For your ruthlessness.

I have assembled them all,
My blood, my jewels,
In the necklace I weld.
Quietly let it throb on my chest
In a chamber of my hidden hurt.

You had picked up my sitar
Your slurs nipped cruelly at my heart.
When the strings snapped
You abandoned it on the earth.

I trust this lull as your gift
It hovers and wafts in the spring drift
Like muted music, bereft of melody
Like stunning silence unsurpassed.



(another version by Rumela Sengupta:)

Along which path of rift and rupture
Did you come in the quiescence of night?
Those things of mine which fell apart
Were blessed, smitten by your feet

I will string them with beads of my blood
To sway in secret on my bosom
As a precious keepsake of my pain

You lifted my Sitar to your lap
And plucked at the strings with ruthlessness
When they snapped, you left it on the ground

The silence of its song
I know it to be your gift
It wafts on the spring breeze
In a sweet tremor bereft of tune

Mar 17, 2012

Whose gaze sways your heart?

কার চোখের চাওয়ার হাওয়ায়
kaar chokher chawar haway

Whose gaze sways your heart?
You seem forever lost in the clouds

Your smile weighed down by tears
Your thoughts tinged with silence
Your words veiled in melody

Whose Midas touch plays havoc with your soul?
Rows of clouds lined with gold
Flit across the firmament of your heart

Your eyelids set off golden ripples
Glinting across the stream of the day
Light and shade quiver in the corner of your eye

My morning star seems to come back

এই বুঝি মোর ভোরের তারা
ei bujhi mor bhorer tara

My morning star seems to come back
In garb of the evening star
She looks down in wonder
Smiling her perpetual smile

I glimpsed her not in the morn
When did she set off by herself?
Crossing the ocean of light
She debarks at the shore of darkness

At dawn she filled my heart with songs of the road
At dusk she plays her Veena to which score who knows

The sweet overture of a friendship new
Never ceases to play
She soothes my heart time and again
In ever new ways

On your colourful leaves

তোমার রঙিন পাতায়
tomar rongin patay

What message of my heart
Do I write on your colourful leaves?
Where can my brush find such colours?

The colours do not tinge my tears
They dwell deep within my heart
How do I express my innermost thoughts?
Can words capture them in all candour?

My friend, will you comprehend my candidness?
I do not have the flair or flourish
What little melody there was
Has slipped through the façade
To resonate deep within
He alone knows it, my inner Lord
How do I express my innermost thoughts?

Let go of your pride and ego

মান অভিমান ভাসিয়ে দিয়ে
maan obhimaan bhashiye diye

Let go of your pride and ego
And beckon her forward
Do beckon her forward

Blend a smile with your tears
And pour it at her feet
Do pour it at her feet

The road is tinted with her shadow
The sky is painted in darkness
The withered flowers are cast off
And time slips by, O it slips by

Mar 12, 2012

Amidst the much I acquire

অনেক পাওয়ার মাঝে মাঝে
Awnek pawar majhe majhe

Amidst the much I acquire
When is it I get a slight something?
That slightest which evokes the southern breeze

The days go by, one after another
As if swept along with the road
Skirting my home as they come and go

There comes a dawn that alights in my room
The one I’d wished for my whole life long

In wake of the light that’s lost to me
I cull a few flecks of radiance
To wreathe the garland of my life

I decorate my salver with that garland I stitch together
From the luminous bits of days gone asunder
The thrill of the one moment
The fleeting flame of the lamp
The half-sung song on the lone string of my lute

Mar 11, 2012

My cup of woe brims over

বেদনায় ভরে গিয়েছে পেয়ালা
Bedonay bhore giyechhe peyala (audio)

My cup of woe brims over
Do take it
I’ve poured into it cleaving my heart
Do partake it

Holding close that overflowing cup
I’ve wandered through the night
My dearest, do accept it at the break of dawn

My desire has tinged it with colour
Do lift it to your crimson lips
Let it absorb your breath
     and the floral fragrance of the morn
Let it reflect the glow in your eyes


Another version by Anandamayee Majumdar

The wine of my heart
Wrung with pain, fulls my cup
For you to sup, to drink.

I carried it, brimful,
Through the nightfall.
Have it now;
It has aged with light.

It reaps it's glow
From my burning, whole desires;
Savor, with your sunshine lips,
With compassion.

Breathe
The flower-some aura of dawn into it,
Lay your eyes on it --
This quintessential milk of my soul

Do not go away without a word

না বলে যেয়ো না চলে
na bole jeyona chole

I beg of you
Do not go away without a word
Carrying off my heart in secret

I stay awake through the night
My eyes grow heavy with sleep
I fear I’ll lose you if I doze off

Startled for a moment I look for you
Time and again it feels like a dream

My heart longs through night and day
To entwine myself around your restive feet

Mar 10, 2012

If my day goes by do know

আমার যদি বেলা যায় গো বয়ে
amar jodi bela jay go boye

If my day goes by, do know
My heart is submersed in you

I sit beside the road
And wreathe a garland for you
Do know, my mind is engrossed in it

The wayfarers have all gone past
Taking many a way in much tumult

My way is in culling flowers
And filling my basket with my own hands
Do know, in secret solitude

Mar 9, 2012

What game will you play with my heart

আমার পরান লয়ে কী খেলা
amar poran loye ki khela

What game will you play with my heart
O my heart’s dearest!

It has drifted to your feet from afar
Do pick it up

It is not a bunch of leaves
Or fruit and flowers that have gone adrift
It is my heart filled with grief
Do keep in mind

No one knows why it goes to and fro
Who comes beside whom drawn to what?
If you bestow your love, it will find eternal life
If you cast off, how will it survive?

Mar 8, 2012

My bird, bird of my nest

পাখি আমার নীড়ের পাখি 
Pakhi amar neerer pakhi (audio)

My bird, bird of my nest,
Is spry with urge, I wonder why.
Has she heard in the farthest sky
The purling whispers by the light of dawn!
A call from the clouds stirs her wings,
Those drowsy plumes  would love to fly.
An absent blue strokes her heart,
The gentle blue of the morning sky.

My bird, bird of my nest
Soars away lost in depths.
She does not look for anyone,
She does not wish to catch her day.
Her pitcher is now full of songs
That she would love to give away,
To pour her heart's every phrase
Into the silent sea of lays.

I glimpse you now and then

মাঝে মাঝে তব দেখা পাই
majhe majhe tobo dekha pai
(audio)

I glimpse you now and then
Why not forever more?
Why do clouds engulf my heart?
Not letting me see
The clouds of illusion blind me
Not letting me see

In a sliver of light in the blink of an eye
When I catch a glimpse of you
I am ever fearful of losing you
Only to lose you in a flash
I lose you before my hopes are met
I lose you before I can blink my eye
I lose you before my heart is soothed
I lose you in a flash

Tell me how to attain you
To keep you within my sight
Where will I find so much love O Lord?
To give you place in my heart
Can I dare to?
If you are not kind who can dare?
If you do not come yourself
Who can keep you in their heart?

None else will I look up to
If you command, I will this very moment
With all my heart and soul
Surrender my passions and possessions
I will surrender at your feet
I will surrender without hesitation
I will surrender to you my passions and possessions

Knowingly, I remain oblivious

আমি জেনে শুনে তবু ভুলে আছি
ami jene shune tobu bhule aachhi

Knowingly, I remain oblivious
My day goes by in vain
I long to take your path
But face many a roadblock
The immortal path where shines your light
On that path of fearlessness

They surround me on all sides
Entangling me in many bondages
I wish to free myself but cannot
They keep me immersed in illusions
They keep me tied
Away from your embrace they keep me tied

Destroy this comfort of earthly life
I have no need for this game
In oblivion, the day goes by, ends the play, in oblivion

Let your thunder clap in my heart
Kindle the fire of pain with it
Sweep me off in my own tears and then wipe my eyes
The tears that arise from the sorrow you give
The tears that wash away all disgrace

Emptying my heart, make your place in that space
Come and be my Lord, pray do not forget me
The void in my heart, stay there filling it with joy, the void in my heart

Lord, I’ve played many a game

প্রভু, খেলেছি অনেক খেলা
probhu khelechhi onek khela

Lord, I’ve played many a game
Now I want the comfort of your lap
My heart in its fatigue craves only for your blessings

Let your peace flow into my troubled soul
Forsaking all my possessions
I want you in every moment

Save me O Lord

রক্ষা করো হে
rokkha koro he

Save me O Lord
Save me from my own doings
My own shadow makes me quiver in fright
My own thoughts devour me, save me O Lord

Each day I weave a web of lies
And then I myself get entangled
Save me from these strands of deceit

My own pride stands guard at my heart
Save me O Lord from my own self

I do not know you yet am drawn to you

তোমারে জানি নে হে
tomare janine he

I do not know you yet am drawn to you
Without knowing you, the world still finds comfort in you

Infinite is your beauty
Who can experience it all?
You sweetness is ever so new
Without knowing you I have surrendered my all

You are the radiance of light
I am blinded with darkness
You soar high above
I drown in the depths
You are boundless
I am a mere weakling
What a glorious union – between you and me

Grant me too your forgiveness

আমারেও করো মার্জনা
amareo koro marjona

Grant me too your forgiveness
Give me too O Lord a sip of your nectar

I’ve come to the road leaving my home
I sit here darkened with dejection
Make in my heart too, a place for yourself

I know I am the tarnished child
You must give me too a place at your feet

I have myself sunk to sinful depths
I weep in remorse and repentance
Hear O Lord, my private pain

Save the wretched, O Lord

তারো তারো, হরি, দীনজনে
taro taro hori deenojone

Save the wretched, O Lord
Summon them to your path
Those who couldn’t offer their prayers, O benevolent One

I cannot see deliverance from this boundless ocean
My life is worn out with sin and sorrow
Amidst death and decay, give me a refuge
Shelter this weak and enfeebled self

Night envelops me, the lights go out
My day goes by in futile tasks
I have no road, nor the means to travel
I call out to you with all my soul
I wander about directionless
Straying far away from you
I lose my way in the lowest of the low worlds
My eyes blinded by illusion

Many are those who give directions

আমায় ছ জনায় মিলে
amay chho jonay mile

Many are those who give directions
And so I lose my way at each step
Many wise ones weave many a word
And so I waver in doubt

I yearn to go to you
To listen to you and allay my confusion
I’m deafened by their disputes
The mutterings of the multitudes

When stricken with grief I seek you
They screen me crowding around
And so I’m left groping in the dust
I do not get to touch your feet

The zillion slivers of my self
Hustle about in a zillion directions
They squabble among themselves
Who do I control? What do I do?
What a plight I am in!
My one self contains multitudes

Gather me up into a whole
Tying me with your love
Show me the one path in its entirety
I cry out confounded in conundrums
Draw me to your feet

Mar 7, 2012

Ah, my moonbeams, you are trapped

ও আমার চাঁদের আলো 
O amar chaander alo (audio)

Ah, my moonbeams, you are happily
Ensnared in my twigs and leaves
I hear you splay a cascade of songs
I witness the dam of starlight burst open
Your melodies pervade my heart,
My little homely porch within.

My buds crack open at your cue,
Respond, to your infectious smile,
The fragrance maddens the drift 
Wafting from the southern sea

Ah, silver beams, you endow me
You wash me in colour 
My impassioned heart can only whisper
Inexplicably intrigued by your smile

Mar 5, 2012

She has longed for me endlessly

যুগে যুগে বুঝি আমায় চেয়েছিল সে
Juge juge bujhi amay


Why does it seem as though

She has longed for me endlessly
As though, she sits there
Anxiously, on my way


Why do I remember
Something about her glance
In my nearing twilight
It feels as though,
She still sits there

Anxiously, on my way

Tonight a melody of light
Will drape the moon
The night will know it is time
To cast off its veil

In the waxing moonbeams
Two pairs of eyes will meet
And all blinds will be gone
For I can sense her still
Full of hope, as she waits
Along my way

Lord, I chant your name

হরি, তোমায় ডাকি
hori tomay daki

Lord, I chant your name
Alone in this world
I hurtle through a dark forest
Eyes awash in tears in the inky night
I cannot find a way

I panic at each moment
“What should I do, what should I do”
When will the dark night come?
And so in fright I chant your name
None else there is save you O Lord

My tears will not be in vain
They say you love your devotees
That hope is my support
I live with only that faith

Your eyes like the stars
Stay awake in the dark
Your devotees never lose their way
My heart seeks you and you alone
You are the guiding star
Whom else can I turn to?

Once you’ve graced me with your visage

দেখা যদি দিলে ছেড়ো না আর
dekha jodi dile
(audio)

Once you’ve graced me with your visage
Do not leave me anymore
I am but weak and wretched
Isn’t the world full of sin, temptation and danger
Alone, without you, I cannot trust myself

Will I then return, my friend?

তবে কি ফিরিব ম্লানমুখে সখা
tobe ki phiribo mlanmukhe shokha

Will I then return, my friend?
Disappointment writ large on my face
Won’t my troubled heart find solace?
Will I then return to earthly life?
To a world submerged in darkness
Won’t my hopes be fulfilled?

Leaving behind the tumult of the world

ভবকোলাহল ছাড়িয়ে
bhobokolahol chhariye

Leaving behind the tumult of the world
I’ve come to a quiet seclusion O Lord
I’ll soothe my soul with your visage
I’ll steep myself in sweet nectar

Mar 2, 2012

The day has gone by O Lord

দিন তো চলি গেল
din to choli gelo

The day has gone by O Lord
My heart cries out in deep distress
With each day, my life is on the decay
What have I achieved in this vacuous life?

How can I show my glum face?
What can I bring to you?
O Lord, my fear will abate
I will gain confidence and faith
If you summon this worthless self

I head home at the end of play

চলিয়াছি গৃহপানে
choliyachhi grihopaane

I head home at the end of play
Call me, do call me
My heart and soul are very weary

My robes are soiled with dust
I’m panic stricken in this darkness
I’ve partaken of melancholia
To allay the thirst of my soul

This game of worldly affairs is heart-wrenching
Having lost all my hope, I weep inconsolably

I build castles of dirt to see them crumble
I walk dejected and forlorn
Do grant me your consolation

With you I'll share my hopes and dreams

তোমারেই প্রাণের আশা কহিব
tomarei praaner asha kohibo

With you I'll share my hopes and dreams
I’ll gaze at your feet in all my joy and woe
Through my gloom and radiance

You know O Lord, why you sent me to this world
I’ll live in this realm obeying your wish
Happiness or sorrow – I’ll endure whatever you bestow

If I ever get lost in the woods
I’ll call out your name
When my heart is overwhelmed with unease
I’ll embrace your feet

I’ll give away my love in your world
I’ll offer myself at your service
When the time comes, call me to your lap
Where else can I find solace?

O Lord, where have I come

প্রভু, এলেম কোথায়
probhu elem kothay

O Lord, where have I come
When did the year go by?
When did life pass by?
What happened and when, I do not seem to know

Where did I come from?
Where am I headed for?
I drift like a straw in the flow of time

Each moment I am closer to death
Yet my consciousness remains cloaked in illusions

In sheer neglect, I’ve doomed my life to the dark
Much have I lost, much still I keep losing

Love has evaporated in throes of intolerable pain
Leaving my heart a desert

My tears know no bounds
I’ve lost all sense of direction
Where O where is the guiding star?

The year has gone by

বর্ষ ওই গেল চলে
borsho oi gelo chole

The year has gone by
I’ve erred a lot
Forgive me and draw me to your lap
I’ve squandered so much time
Fixated on my own self
I did not look upto you
I did not call out to you O Father

Your mercy knows no end
You are forever there for me
Your steadfast gaze upon my face
I think of your affection
And my body thrills in delight
O Lord, I’ll never ever be oblivious to you

Where are you Lord

কোথা আছ, প্রভু, এসেছি দীনহীন
kotha aachho probhu

Where are you Lord
I’ve come to you weary and weak
Not a shelter I have in this wide world
I’ve wandered far and wide
Calling your name in distress
Won’t you respond?
Won’t you look at me?
Will you leave me in this fathomless dark?
Night falls, I do not know the way
I am all alone amidst this forest

O Mother, draw me to your lap
This tired child seeks rest
Quench her thirst with nectar
Soothe her with your affection
Forsaking you, she had gone afar
She weeps today having lost her way
She won’t leave anymore
She’ll stay close to you
Holding your hand, she’ll walk without fear

Come O Lord,
Look upon me with fondness
Assuage my pain
I’ll find strength anew
I’ll wipe off my tears
I’ll touch your feet and my wants will be met

Mar 1, 2012

Radiant moonbeams glorify the night

চাঁদের হাসির বাঁধ ভেঙেছে
*Chaander hashir bandh bhengechhe (audio: Dwijen Mukhopadhyay)

Radiant moonbeams glorify the night
                                Utterly profuse
O my tuberose, won't you airily suffuse?

The whirling wind can not comprehend
From where it senses a calling, waving hand
As it roves about in groves, all
                         Buds enchant, amuse.

A royal blue sky is smeared with a hint of light
My lyrics such are swans swiftly soar and hover by.

Like flakes of dusty jasmine in the night
The earth revels in sprinkles of moonlight
As if a bride lit up the sky
                          In longing she let loose.

*an attempt has been made to restore the original rhythm to be able to sing in English

When you could seek your royal prize

পূর্ণ প্রাণে চাবার যাহা
*Purno praane chabar jaha (audio)

When you could seek your royal prize
Why extend your hands for alms, why?
Why should you plead with tearful eyes?

Welcome her with a string of gems
Your hearts will be duly exchanged
Why do you wish to seat your goddess
On pathways in a desert of sand?

In summer when the groves are dry
The drift seethes with a pitiful sigh
Would you present your bouquet of buds
A heart-offering, so wilted and wry?

When you usher in your special guest
Usher her in with true respect
Let the sky glow with a thousand stars
In the darkness of your precious tryst

*an attempt has been made to restore the original rhythm to able to sing in English

We are but children

আমরা যে শিশু অতি
amra je shishu oti

We are but children, our minds immature
At each step, O Father, we slip and fall
Why then show us your wrathful form
Why the occasional frown

Pray, do not be angry with us
Tell us gently where we have erred

A thousand times you pick us up
A thousand times we fall, we fail
Such is the lot of the frail

The earth is our home
It's dust blinds our vision
We were born as children
And so with dust we play
Give us courage O Lord
You who are the refuge of the weak
Assure us of your presence

If we make one mistake
Will you never draw us to your lap
Will you then turn away
And leave us grounded
With our consciousness forever veiled